The journey to college can be one of the most exciting, yet anxiety-inducing, times in a teenager’s life. For many high school students in the U.S., the pressure to make significant decisions about their futures feels overwhelming. With a growing emphasis on academic performance, extracurricular achievements, and community involvement, students may feel a sense of urgency to build impressive resumes from an early age. As a father of two teenagers and a former faculty member at a public university, I want to share insights and practical recommendations for students, parents, and teachers to help ease this transition.

The college admissions process often feels like an emotional rollercoaster, and for good reason. There’s a lot on the line: students are making choices that will shape their futures, and they are doing so in an environment filled with academic pressures and social comparisons. For many, the combination of academic stress, extracurricular involvement, standardized tests, and family expectations can create significant anxiety.

This anxiety, when left unchecked, can impact students’ mental health, affecting their motivation and even their performance. However, with a clear roadmap and support from family and teachers, students can approach the college admissions process in a more organized, less stressful way.

What Parents and Teachers Can Do to Help

Encourage Open Communication

• With Parents: Create a safe space where students can express their concerns and aspirations without judgment. Open conversations about goals, fears, and the process itself can help alleviate stress.
• With Teachers: Teachers can play a significant role by fostering a supportive environment in which students feel comfortable discussing their academic and personal goals. By normalizing the challenges, teachers can help students manage their expectations.

Teach Time Management Skills

• Planning and prioritizing are critical life skills that will not only aid in the college application process but also serve students well in college. Encourage students to set realistic, short-term goals throughout high school and use planners or digital tools to stay organized.
• Balance Homework and Leisure: As part of time management, help students understand the importance of balancing their homework and study time with extracurriculars and relaxation. Spending too much time on distractions like video games can undermine academic success. Encourage a structured approach: after homework and activities, time for hobbies like gaming can be a well-deserved break.

Emphasize Self-Discovery

• Encourage students to explore their interests deeply, rather than trying to check off boxes on a college application. Authenticity matters more than the number of activities, so urge students to pursue things they genuinely enjoy and excel in.

Create a Supportive Network

• In addition to family support, teens benefit from mentorship—whether from teachers, school counselors, or family friends who can provide guidance and encouragement throughout the process.

Guide Students on Relationships and Social Balance

• High school is a time of growth, not only academically but also socially. Students might begin to explore romantic relationships, which can enrich their experiences but also present new challenges. Encourage them to find a balance: relationships can add meaning to their lives, but they shouldn’t distract from academics or other priorities. Open, supportive conversations about balance, boundaries, and time management can help them make mature decisions.

A High School Timeline for College Preparation

Middle School and Early High School (Grades 6-9)

• Explore Interests: Early on, students should focus on discovering what interests them without the pressure of college applications. Whether it’s sports, music, art, technology, or community service, encourage them to dive into what they genuinely enjoy.
• Build Strong Academic Foundations: Maintaining good grades is important, but developing effective study habits and a strong work ethic is even more crucial. Remind students that foundational skills will set them up for success in challenging high school courses.
• Start Thinking About Extracurriculars: While there’s no need to commit to specific activities, experimenting with a few different options allows students to find what they’re passionate about and might want to focus on later.

Freshman Year (Grade 9)

• Establish a Healthy Routine: Support teens in creating a routine that includes time for schoolwork, extracurricular activities, hobbies, and rest. Balance is essential to avoid burnout.
• Begin Building Relationships with Teachers: Students should start engaging with their teachers early on, as these relationships can later lead to meaningful recommendation letters. Demonstrating responsibility, curiosity, and commitment to learning can leave a lasting impression.
• Explore Volunteering and Community Service: Getting involved in community activities can help students build empathy and understand the value of service. Volunteering can also become a meaningful part of their resumes.

Sophomore Year (Grade 10)

• Identify Strengths and Weaknesses: Encourage students to reflect on their academic strengths and areas they want to improve. This is a good time to seek help or resources if certain subjects feel challenging.
• Take on More Responsibility in Activities: As sophomores, students can start to take leadership roles in clubs, teams, or community service projects. This shows growth and dedication and is something admissions committees will notice.
• Consider Preliminary Testing (PSAT, PreACT): While there’s no need to prepare intensely, taking these exams can give students a sense of standardized testing and identify areas where they may want to improve before the SAT or ACT.

Junior Year (Grade 11)

• Focus on Academics: Junior year grades are especially important, so students should focus on maintaining or improving their GPA. Encourage them to seek help if needed, use study resources, and avoid overloading their schedules.
• Take the SAT or ACT: Most students take standardized tests in their junior year, which gives them time to retake if necessary. Familiarize them with prep options and remind them that many colleges consider “test-optional” policies.
• Explore College Options and Start Visits: Junior year is the ideal time for students to begin researching colleges, creating a list of prospective schools, and visiting campuses if possible. Encourage them to consider a variety of factors like size, location, programs, and campus culture.
• Build a Resume: Students should begin documenting their academic achievements, extracurriculars, and volunteer experiences. Creating a resume, including digital badges and credentials, can help them keep track of their accomplishments for college applications.

Senior Year (Grade 12)

• Finalize College List and Apply: During the fall of senior year, students should finalize their list of colleges and start working on applications. This includes writing and revising essays, securing recommendation letters, and completing necessary paperwork.
• Apply for Scholarships and Financial Aid: College can be expensive, so it’s crucial for students to research and apply for scholarships and complete the FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) as early as possible.
• Stay Engaged Academically: It can be tempting to relax, but colleges do look at senior year grades. Encourage students to maintain their efforts in their classes while balancing the demands of the application process.

Recommendations for Students

1. Be Kind to Yourself: Remember that no single test score or activity defines you. College admissions look at the whole person, so bring your authentic self to the process.
2. Seek Support When You Need It: Talk to friends, family, or counselors if the process feels overwhelming. Stress management is crucial, and sharing concerns can help ease anxiety.
3. Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture: College applications are just one step in your journey. Focus on personal growth, learning, and the experiences that make you unique.
4. Balance Relationships Wisely: Friends, family, and romantic relationships are an important part of life but make sure these don’t overshadow your personal goals and responsibilities. Communicate openly with those close to you about your priorities.

Key Takeaways for Parents and Teachers

• Foster a Positive, Supportive Environment: Recognize that students are under a lot of pressure, so remind them that there are many paths to success.
• Encourage Balance: While academics and activities are important, students also need downtime to recharge. Emphasize the value of mental and emotional health.
• Celebrate Small Successes: Every step in this journey deserves recognition. Celebrating achievements, whether big or small, helps build confidence and resilience.

The college application process is complex, but with guidance, support, and clear steps, it becomes a journey of growth. By focusing on authentic self-expression, steady preparation, and mental well-being, students can build both a strong application and a strong sense of self. Whether students attend their first-choice school or take an unexpected path, what truly matters is the knowledge, resilience, and confidence they develop along the way.